Daniel Craig has apparently
turned down a huge financial win to be James Bond again. He wasn't joking about
hating it. So who is in line to replace the dude? 10 possible names readily
come to the picture.
Tom Hiddleston
Well, he's OK, but he looks
more like a new Daniel Craig than a new James Bond. He's a bit lankier than
Craig, with higher maintenance hair. He looks a bit soft, even when he's
killing people on telly. Too tall to fit in some sports cars. Would be all legs
getting out of a DB5. The prospect gets worse the more you think about it.
James Norton
Stupid massive BBC costume drama hunk chin. Glass jaw. One
blow from Henchman #2 and he'd be out cold, dragged into the back of a van,
inappropriately touched and never seen again. Film over in six minutes. Totally
unbelievable. No.
Idris Elba
Tall and good at being angry, Elba's main role in the Bond
rumourmongering process is to get people discussing whether or not Ian Fleming
ever specifically mentioned Bond being pale and blonde or being continually
stopped and searched by police when on missions in the US in the books. He'd be
very good, but he’s black.
Luke Evans
Was good in High-Rise, if being good in something else
counts. Has a sort of compact face quite similar to Daniel Craig's, so he
should blend in quite well. Could use the same stunt double and wear Craig's
suits.
Aidan Turner
He was Poldark in Poldark and also in The
Hobbit for a bit. Having to look him up is probably best, as you don't
want anyone too recognisable as a Bond. You don't want it to be like a Michael
Caine film, where whenever he comes on screen you think "Oh, Michael
Caine, he must be, what, 78 by now?" and all immersion is lost as you
start thinking about Steve Coogan's impressions and looking up Michael Caine on
IMDB on your phone and forgetting you're even in a cinema. So, Turner would be
good as I had to look him up, and it's about time we had a hairy chested Bond
again as there hasn't been one since Brosnan.
Tom Hardy
He's good in
everything. If he worked in Subway his baps would be the best. I'd entertain
his foot long, that's for sure. He might well be best saved as a recurring
villain, mind, as his turn in Bronson contained some of recent cinema's most
bonkers sequences. At least 12 of the 17 most bonkers sequences in recent
cinema history, in fact, according to the official list feature.
If Tom Hardy's too expensive or has been personally warned
off the job by Daniel Craig, how about Jack O'Connell? He's like a slightly
less well assembled Tom Hardy, an unofficial Tom Hardy that is near enough Tom
Hardy without actually infringing any copyrights. He was good in Unbroken,
and was in Holby City when he was younger so has put the hours in and
deserves a break.